Echoes from the Cave Inn Open Mic
CW: Trauma, abuse, sexual references
You know, there are a lot of misconceptions about trauma,
The worst being that it ages you beyond your years
In my own opinion there couldn’t be anything less true
It’s more that trauma forces you to be an adult way before your time
But in losing out on your childhood you don’t mature at all
Case in point when I wrote Comeback so many jokes were resisted
“If I wanted my cum back I would have wiped it off your mum last night”
In reality trauma forces us to be kids playing house and never getting to grow
So here I am
Traumatised and burnt out former gifted kid with nothing to show for
I mean yes my bio sounds impressive but in my defence
You did ask a poet to write something that sounds good about themselves
Truth be told trauma only makes us look like an adult but in reality we never got to grow up
And so now everything and anything can be a sex joke
Anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough and anything can be a sex joke if you try hard enough
While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with appreciating Bluey
And it’s healthy to joke about and laugh at something as natural as sex…
The emotional development and maturity that we miss out leaves us severely handicapped
Navigating life without emotional maturity is like navigating a dark room without light
Sure you can put your right hand out to guide the way but you have to be so much slower and so much more cautious
The most of emotional intelligence from development trauma will make us look at a scorpion and say
Yes this is the perfect partner
We completely ignore the multiple ways it can destroy us and just say looks neat
Except even that isn’t entirely true
You see taste in men never improves yet with each additional blow our brain turns against us and starts looking for problems
For you see what doesn’t kill you only leaves you jaded with with severe trust issues
For you see what doesn’t kill you only makes you get attached too easily and cling on so hard you push them away
So here you are having played adult from the age of thirteen but never grown beyond the age of thirteen
And then year after year of therapy passes and you have to ask yourself
Despite knowing the answer you ask yourself “why am I like this”
Therapy doesn’t take the trauma away it only makes it easier to understand and process
So you know why you are like this and why you do what you do
But you never truly understand how to stop
How to go back
And how to turn your life around
And finally be an adult with something to show.
You don’t have to face this alone
If you’re experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or going through domestic or family violence, support is here for you any time of day.
Mental Health & Crisis Support
Lifeline
Call 13 11 14 | Text 0477 131 114
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Call 1800 737 732 | Text 0458 737 732
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Sexual Assault Line
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