Alexi Edwards | Spoken Word Artist

Alexi’s Commentary

I honestly had so much fun writing this piece and if I’m honest I’m quite proud of it.

My only complaint is that it’s so long, too long for most open-mic slots – so this is one of those pieces that only get performed when I’m featuring (or as a single poem in an open mic slot that will allow for a five minute poem).

It was the headline piece of my second set in my comeback feature and I had as much fun performing it as I wrote it!

Now for the context: what on earth is a PK? In religious circles a PK refers to a pastor/priest’s kid. Which naturally makes it a very loaded phrase in queer circles given how modern Christianity treats queer folk, which is exactly what this piece is about.

I truly hope you have as much fun reading this piece as I had writing it.

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CW: Religious Trauma

You see I was raised Christian

And I don’t mean it the traditional sense

You see when someone says raised Christian

They went to church every Easter and Christmas

Oh no not me

When I say I was raised Christian

I mean we went to church every Sunday

No Toonami for me

Oh and then there was youth group

My friday nights gone

I did get to do scouts but not that scouts

We had our own Christian version

AWANA was the name

APPROVED WORKMEN ARE NOT ASHAMED!!!

I never got a scout badge for tying different knots

But I did get an AWANA badge for memorising John 3:14

And many more

For he so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him so get everlasting life

Okay I really hope that was right

I may have had to look half of it up but oh well

While your grandparents spent their retirement travelling Europe

My maternal grandparents taught Sunday school

Having your grandma as a Sunday school teacher is great and all

But just don’t come out as gay

We don’t even talk about my transition

You may have spent your summers camping in the Great South

Don’t get me wrong I got to go to camp

Only it was bible camp

Of course I got to toast marshmallows on a bonfire the size of my house

While you sat around the fire sharing stories about ghosts

The only ghost stories for me were of the Holy Ghost

And two men returning from the dead

Though in an ironic twist of fate

Bible camp gave me a serious brag

It allowed me my first gay kiss

Though no shag

Who was it you may ask?

Can’t say don’t kiss and tell

But hey Jesus said it best

Aaaah Men

I intended for that to be the final line

But my actual message hasn’t been said

You see I said I was raised Christian

Oh no not Christian anymore

My man Jesus had such an awesome message

Love one another

Share what little you have

Seperate church and state

Pay your god damn taxes

That is pay to Caesar what is owed to Caesar

Money corrupts so let it go

He even provided free healthcare to all

Ate with both rich and poor

Truly is my favourite Socialist Palestinian Jew

Then came Paul

And the religion started to fall

Personally I’m monogamous

But I cannot deny history

Humanity was polyamorous before Paul

Something really cool that history says

Is how the Romans saw people with faith

I kid you not

They only saw a Jewish Sex Cult

A sect of Jews only sleeping with one person

And only after marriage

To a polyamorous society you can see why it’s bizarre

See the prudishness can all be traced back to Paul

Slaves obey your masters

Wives submit to your husbands

Children obey your parents for this is right

See that last one is okay

Till you realise Paul was the unconditional kind of man

Even the homophobia is a miss-translation

But as I said the bullshit is all Paul

Jesus said not one thing about the trans nor the gays

And even Paul was very biblically pro trans

There is neither Jew nor Greek, no longer slave nor free, no longer male nor female, for all are one in Christ Jesus

Eww I’m agreeing with Paul

So much of Paul’s Christianity I cannot reconcile

But hey that one is good with me

Two thousand years laters it’s now 2025

And oh how the faith has had its fall

To call myself one of them

Is to take on two Millenia of baggage

Racist queerphobic colonial baggage

So many cultures destroyed in the name of a gospel

A gospel that was destroyed all

May Jesus hang his head in shame

But we really can’t blame the colonists

Given how God ordered the original colonisation you see

The original Israelites were from somewhere in Iraq

They were sent into Canaan to rape, murder, and pillage them all

Let it be put to the record

That this is the one time I’m not being political

And am not reflecting on any modern polarising issue

Just a historical truth

About a faith that chooses to ignore its own

Biblical Christianity was intended to be a faith of love

That populism has morphed into a faith of hate

Popular Christianity isn’t biblical

And biblical Christianity is certainly not popular

Then theres me who commits the sin of empathy every day

But even in a biblical sense I cannot call myself Christian

All because of some dickhead named Paul

My man Jesus though was the real deal

With some solid socialist teachings for us all

But from my spiritual sense

May the light bless you all

Though we shall end how Jesus taught us all

In celebration of all that is queer

Ahhhh Men