Alexi’s Commentary
In order to preserve the artistic integrity of the headspace I was in when this piece was written it has been left mostly unedited.
The context is I was very hungover after my 21st and my Motor Dysgraphia was not impressed with the situation I’d put my body in.
The Poem
Do you know what it’s like to be ambidextrous but unable to handwrite?
Do you know what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like to have mundane tasks bring you excruciating pain;
Do you know what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like to be constantly dropping things,
“Lexie stop dropping you phone”
“Don’t drop the ball Lexie”
“Stop dropping things Lexie”
Do you know what it’s like!?
Do you know what it’s like,
What it’s like,
what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like to be physically incapable of using chopsticks without pain,
Do you know what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like to run out of spoons mid-poem,
to be barely capable of continuing,
do you know what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like to be officially in the slowest two percent of handwriters your age, of your state,
Do you know what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like,
what it’s like,
what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like to be called out on your shit writing over and over and over?
Do you know what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like to have your entire fucking body wither and vibrate constantly all day and night.
Do you know what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like to have to choose between a fun night drinking and having functional hands the next day?
Do you know what it’s like?
Do you know what it’s like,
what it’s like,
what it’s like?
Are you sure you know what it’s like?
Let me tell you what it’s like!
With every wheel that turns,
every movement that you make burns,
You are berated for dropping,
You are berated for your writing,
You are berated for your eating,
You are berated…
You need so many systems in place,
from a constantly charged laptop,
you your own super short hand style,
Every day,
you feel your spoons running out,
they’re running out,
they’re running out,
they’re running out,
they’ve…
run out!
Are you sure you know what it’s like?
Okay then,
Tell me what it’s fucking like…
If you need to talk right now, you don’t have to face this alone
Crisis Support
QLife (LGBT only)
1800 184 527
Beyond Blue
1300 224 636
https://beyondblue.org.au Lifeline
Call 13 11 14 | Text 0477 131 114
13Yarn (Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander only)
13 92 76
If you ever feel you might act on thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out straight away: call 000 or go to your nearest emergency department – they’re there to help, and getting support early can really save lives.
Alexi Edwards | Spoken Word Artist 